Day 5

Today was our final day. We were due to leave just before lunch to head to the airport, so the plan was simple enough, bakery breakfast, then one of us would take Alexander to the pool while the other packed and got everything ready. Unfortunately, Alexander had clearly woken up and chosen chaos.

The cat came to say goodbye first thing in the morning, which was lovely. Unfortunately, this created a new problem. For the rest of the day, Alexander repeatedly shouted "cat!" and demanded that we abandon all responsibilities to go searching for it. He even got into his swimsuit, seemingly excited for one last pool visit. That excitement lasted right up until his toes touched the water. At that point, he immediately demanded to get back out again.

Everything felt like hard work today.

Whenever I put something into the suitcase, Alexander would promptly remove it. If I placed a pillow on the bed, apparently it was in the wrong position and would be launched onto the floor. Then came the great Ping Pong Ball Negotiation of 2026, where I had to explain why the Airbnb's ping pong balls could not, in fact, be added to our family collection and brought home.

Eventually, after what felt like several business days, we got everything packed. We said our thank-yous and goodbyes to the Airbnb host, who was enjoying a coffee in the garden, loaded up the car, and set off for the airport.

Thankfully, Alexander fell asleep about five minutes into the journey. It was a much-needed nap! He slept the whole way to the airport and woke up in much better form.

After returning the rental car, we headed into the terminal for lunch. Naturally, we chose pizza. At this point, pizza had become less of a meal choice and more of a holiday tradition.

While waiting around, Alexander spotted a man standing looking at his phone. He immediately ran over to me, demanded my phone, then marched back and stood beside the man, copying him exactly. The man quickly realised what was happening and found it absolutely hilarious. Alexander, meanwhile, was delighted with his new role as Airport Businessman.

We waited for the security queue to die down before joining it. We had to remove all our liquids and place them into clear plastic bags as Beauvais airport hasn’t been updated with all the fancy scanners other airports have. For once, travelling with a toddler worked in our favour. The security guard allowed us to bring through more liquids than we normally could because it was "for the baby." Alexander finally earned his keep.

Once through security, the departure area was packed and seats were nowhere to be found, so we claimed a patch of floor instead. Alexander happily sat reading his books while most of the other children nearby were glued to iPads. Long may the books continue to win.

When it was finally time to board, Alexander was beyond excited. He said hello to everyone sitting nearby, enjoyed a little snack, demolished a bottle of milk, spilled orange juice all over himself, and then entertained the family beside us with a full musical performance. Before long, he had them all singing and doing the actions to "Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken, lay a little egg for me." You're welcome, row 31.

Unfortunately, our luck ran out at passport control. Alexander decided he desperately needed to be put down so he could run around. Passport control, however, is one of the few places where this is generally discouraged. Another tantrum followed, and then came the battle of the nappy change before the drive home to Derry.

The absolute last thing we wanted was for him to nap in the car. Bedtime couldn't come quickly enough after the day we'd had. Thankfully, a combination of open windows, loud music, and sheer determination kept him awake. We finally made it home.

Alexander's mood improved considerably once he saw his Granny and Grandad, but it wasn't long before he started asking for his bottle and bed. Bath time was officially cancelled. It was straight into pyjamas and tucked up under the covers.

And just like that, another chapter of adventure comes to an end. A compulsory Chinese and the other half of the movie which we started the  night before. Bonne nuit!

P.S - please go and check your passport is in date and has enough months left on it before your next holiday.